Stress Reaction vs Stress Response

In his book, “Full Castrophe Living,” Jon Kabat-Zinn talks about the difference between a stress reaction and a stress response. A stress reaction is when we react habitually and automatically to a situation. We aren’t aware of what we’re doing – it’s a knee jerk reaction.

An example might be getting stuck in traffic and not being aware that our stomachs are in knots and our hands have a death grip on the steering wheel. Our minds can get busy imagining all sorts of terrible things that could happen because we’re late without even realizing that our thoughts are out of control.

A stress response means that you give yourself a few seconds to stop, become conscious of the situation, and then choose how you want to respond. Just giving yourself those few seconds of awareness changes the situation into one in which you have more influence and control. Part of this process is bringing awareness to your thoughts and feelings as well.

The above situation in traffic happened to me the other day. I was stuck on a bridge and quite a ways from home. Because I’ve been practicing insight or mindfulness meditation, I was able to I recognize how stressed out I was. In the past, I would have just distracted myself with talk radio. This time, I decided to investigate my stress, which was taking the form of a nervous stomach and shallow breaths. What was going on? Why was I so anxious? I wasn’t late for an appointment. Nobody was home waiting for me.

Then I realized what it was. My anxiety was a left-over response to all my years of single parenting 3 kids. Even though they are all away at college now, my body automatically responded as if they were little and waiting for me at home. Old habits die hard. When I realized what was underneath my stress, I felt a huge sense of relief and it was actually kind of funny . . . until it turned into grief over my empty nest. Give me some talk radio!